Posts Tagged ‘relationship’

Releasing Expectations

 

       Life presents us with opportunities for growth; some painful and some exciting, but these lessons are always challenging our core values and beliefs.  With every new opportunity, we test ourselves and all that we currently know by choosing to either move forward toward the unknown or play it safe.  Whenever we start something new, we’re pushing past our comfort zone and thus pushing past our expectations. While there is familiarity with the known, there is little growth so we make up expectations and fantasize about what this new experience will be like. It’s almost like preparing for a play by studying our lines, except we are the writer, actor, and director. We give emotion, dialogue, and set the scene for our new adventure, environment or relationship, and then get upset when things don’t turn out the way we planned (expected).

Having expectations is part of being human, however, it doesn’t have to take center stage. We’ve all heard the saying “expectations are planned resentments”. This means that by creating them, or buying into them, we are setting ourselves up for failure, disappointment, and pain. Instead, take life as it comes and learn to “roll with it”. Plan, if you must, but don’t fall into the trap of “expecting” anything of a person, place, or thing (ex: event).  The key to releasing expectations is acceptance.

Accept what you cannot change. And that is pretty much everything outside of yourself. Recognize your Spiritual power within and harness control (awareness) over your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and actions. Practice an attitude of gratitude. As Dr. Bernie Siegel says in his book 101 Exercises for the Soul, “you can’t be troubled and grateful at the same time”.  Through acceptance and gratitude, peace and joy exist.

I am so grateful to have learned this lesson in my life and for the opportunity to practice is regularly.     Join me in releasing expectations forever! There is freedom in not expecting and instead simply allowing experiences to unfold; naturally.  Try it today and see for yourself.

 

Fantastic, Wonderful, Authentic, Friends!

Friends pick us up when we are down. They provide comfort in the face of despair and laughter when life gets too serious. The gift of friendship goes way beyond socializing as it validates and supports the very essence of who we are as human beings walking through life together. Without friends, the stress of day to day life would become too much and we would miss the perspective and wisdom that comes from sharing of ourselves in such intimate ways. No other relationship has greater impact on us than that of friends, since they are among our choosing.

Friends reflect back aspects of us that we don’t see in ourselves. Sometimes this signals a need for healing or forgiveness and sometimes it helps us celebrate the preciousness of who we are. We get an opportunity to practice new behaviors, play, be our authentic selves, learn, grow, and make mistakes in the presence of a safe person who really knows and accepts us. A special bond exists among friends that lovers and family can’t fill; for friendship is all about mutual caring and support without the romantic or family ties that can stir up drama and dysfunction. Friends help us to see the humor within ourselves and the world around us. We also get to practice listening, boundaries, intimacy, generosity, and trust (just to name a few). Friends help get us out of our comfort zones and encourage us to grow and spread our wings. We in turn, help them to do the same and take this into the world with others.

While there are different kinds of friends as well as levels of friendships, the gifts are immeasurable and positive. At each stage, our evolutionary growth can be catapulted, just by allowing another into hearts and lives.  Even 1 friend who loves and supports us unconditionally is enough to change our personal world and alter how we show up in life; making us better people.

Tell your friends how much they mean to you; show them with appreciation, love, and gratitude. Treasure your friends today and relish in this most special relationship. Give them and yourself the gift of friendship.