Posts Tagged ‘behavior’

Thank You Dad

Father’s Day is a time for celebrating the dad’s in our lives. Whether they are or were our biological father’s or not, we acknowledge the significant men in our lives today for being there in good times and bad; teaching us about life, playing with us, raising us with positive values, for believing in us and always loving us unconditionally. Thank you Dad for caring. Thank you Dad for taking your responsibility to me seriously. Thank you Dad for putting a roof over my head, food on the table and clothes on my back. Thank you Dad for protecting me from the harsh and sometimes cruel world. And thank you Dad for instilling confidence in me and self-esteem. Thank you Dad for always looking out for me and setting healthy boundaries so I would learn from my mistakes and make good choices. Thank you Dad for paying attention to me, listening to me, and following through with your promises. Most of all, thank you Dad for showing me that you are human and that it’s ok to make mistakes. I’ve learned so much from you; regardless of your intentions or actions.

There are many of us who grew up without a father figure or an abusive dad who didn’t know how to be there for us the way we would have liked or needed. Instead of feeling bitterness, anger, and/or pain today, lets forgive our Dad’s by acknowledging they were simply doing the best they knew how at the time. Often times, they were just repeating patterns of behavior from their upbringing and don’t know any better. Dad’s make mistakes, just like we do. We’re all human and don’t mean to hurt one another… it just happens sometimes when we’re hurt or upset or don’t have healthy coping skills. While parents are supposed to model healthy behavior, they often don’t know what that even looks like. As a child, this is difficult and painful. Many people have developed negative feelings towards their dad’s for a myriad of reasons. I honor and respect that. And I know that anger and resentment only hurts us and causes lots of other problems.

However, as adults we can make different choices. We can choose to forgive our dad’s and ourselves and move on. We can also choose to get help/ support to resolve the past as well as overcome unhealthy patterns of behavior so that we can be positive role models for our children and grandchildren. It is possible to release and let go with love. I encourage anyone with unresolved father issues to seek help in order to not repeat them with your own children. When we take this courageous step, we can truly be happy and embrace the blessings of our dad’s.

For those who have a great relationship with their dad; let them know how important they are to you and celebrate their presence in your life. Recognize the bravery and determination your dad has shown; honor his wisdom and sacrifices. Thank him for bringing you into the world.

Namaste’

Lisa

Thank You!

How could two little words mean so much yet be so simple? I think it’s the message behind them that counts because it convey’s deep appreciation, gratitude and love that acknowledges both parties involved. While this little phrase may seem overused, the practice of it never goes out of style because we all crave recognition for our good deeds in some way. There is nothing wrong with desiring validation for a job well done; however, the challenge comes when we seek this from outside sources (people, work, etc) because then we are giving others power over us and this is can be disastrous to our self-esteem in many ways.

Looking for praise from other people is a set up for resentment. This affects our attitude and behavior, teetering on the side of manipulation sometimes in order to gain approval from others. What if we could acknowledge ourselves? When was the last time you praised yourself? Often we focus on others to avoid looking at ourselves; even when its about acknowledging something positive within ourselves. Can you relate? Why is this?

To counteract this negative habit, I’ve instituted the practice of listing my accomplishments daily in a journal. This single activity forces me to look at all the things that I complete, do well, and achieve. Writing this out stares my monkey mind squarely in the face, and defies the illogical crazies. Try it today and say Thank You to yourself !

 

Fantastic, Wonderful, Authentic, Friends!

Friends pick us up when we are down. They provide comfort in the face of despair and laughter when life gets too serious. The gift of friendship goes way beyond socializing as it validates and supports the very essence of who we are as human beings walking through life together. Without friends, the stress of day to day life would become too much and we would miss the perspective and wisdom that comes from sharing of ourselves in such intimate ways. No other relationship has greater impact on us than that of friends, since they are among our choosing.

Friends reflect back aspects of us that we don’t see in ourselves. Sometimes this signals a need for healing or forgiveness and sometimes it helps us celebrate the preciousness of who we are. We get an opportunity to practice new behaviors, play, be our authentic selves, learn, grow, and make mistakes in the presence of a safe person who really knows and accepts us. A special bond exists among friends that lovers and family can’t fill; for friendship is all about mutual caring and support without the romantic or family ties that can stir up drama and dysfunction. Friends help us to see the humor within ourselves and the world around us. We also get to practice listening, boundaries, intimacy, generosity, and trust (just to name a few). Friends help get us out of our comfort zones and encourage us to grow and spread our wings. We in turn, help them to do the same and take this into the world with others.

While there are different kinds of friends as well as levels of friendships, the gifts are immeasurable and positive. At each stage, our evolutionary growth can be catapulted, just by allowing another into hearts and lives.  Even 1 friend who loves and supports us unconditionally is enough to change our personal world and alter how we show up in life; making us better people.

Tell your friends how much they mean to you; show them with appreciation, love, and gratitude. Treasure your friends today and relish in this most special relationship. Give them and yourself the gift of friendship.